Welcome to my corner of the web, I guess. Honestly, I started this as a way to write my thoughts and to vent. It's been hard, I'll say. This website is not intended for younger audiences. This is the personal blog and website of an adult. If you're uncomfortable with self-harming content, swearing, and mentions of suicide: please do not continue any further for your sake.
With that in mind, the site is for now in a simple annotation/ note format, which makes it easy to hand-write the HTML myself, while allowing some level of freedom to write openly. Navigate to entries and you should see a reverse order list of them.
I'm not a native English speaker, so mistakes happen. If there are grammatical errors or any awkward phrasing, I'd appreciate your patience.
Also, this isn't me making a philosophical point or some fucking self-improvement page driven out of self-pity. Lastly, please take things with a grain of salt, I'm an individual too y'know... I also make mistakes. Sometimes I'll be mad, I'll say things you might not agree with; you might not like it. That's the point of this place.
21 years of having achieved nothing, I lead an empty life. There's not much to it, I shouldn't be alive yet I'm here. I survived a suicide attempt 3 years ago. It feels like yesterday, but it's already been 3 summers. I was placed in care for 72 hours and was held for evaluation. I was not placed in a psychiatric unit, and instead walked out.
It's somewhat gotten worse ever since, I don't know what happy feels like anymore genuinely. Nothing will change, nothing ever does. Anyway, sometimes I like to program. No, not javascript. I hate javascript. I used to make game engines on that god-awful language for the web, mayyybe I'll go back when I'm feeling the urge -- but right now? I think I'll stay away from gimmicks.
I'm trying my best to stay anonymous with this. Yes, you are reading my thoughts and it is pretty personal. But, I don't want others to know this exist. Or for the matter, that I have these thoughts in my head. No one should know.
If you want to say something, maybe I'll add a chat box below this section. We'll see I guess.